Breakfast the Seventh: A Bite to Eat, Chifley April 22, 2009
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Saturday 18 April, 2009
For this week’s chowdown the Bitches, in the company of Mr Chips, decide to stay on the southside and try the highly recommended and appropriately named A Bite to Eat. On a cuteness scale of one to ten, where one is baby poo and ten is OMGKITTENSQUEE, ABTE hits a solid eight, almost out-preciousing Podfood. Check it out:
The rainbow brite interior!
The eclectic-adorable courtyard!
The umberellas! (ellas, ellas)
Must. Have. Sunglasses. And coffee. Which also, unsurprisingly, arrives looking unbearably cute:
Mismatched kitsch crockery. It makes our cynical old hearts soar.
ABTE also boasts waitstaff of the young, enthusiastic, friendly and (natch) super cute variety, the interior of the cafe is crammed with the work of local artists (Leeloo was denied a photo op, however, due to the owner’s copyright concerns), and the cafe courtyard is dog-friendly. Which gives it a huge plus in our book. As does the six-week-old collie pup lounging nearby. CUUUUTE.
Leeloo, why didn’t you get a photo of the PUPPY?
But I suppose you want to hear about the food. Yes? All right.
The Bitches were shocked – SHOCKED – to discover that ABTE does not offer Eggs Benedict in any of its myriad forms. But but but… you mean we have to THINK? We have to make a DECISION? Oh, all right then.
The menu is… unusual. Or, as that ad for mechanical pencils would claim, ‘It’s weird … but it works’. Yes, your bog standard eggs-and-bacon dish is on offer, but since we’re branching out from benno, we might as well BRANCH OUT, yes? Yes. Therefore, Pixel selects the Truffle:
Mmm, butter...
… while Leeloo opts for the Lentils (with smoked lamb cutlet):
Scuse me, I must visit the baaaaa.
… and Mr Chips, representing the Unfair Sex, pigs out on The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (and no, that is NOT a description of his dining companions):
I'd like to see you mange that tout.
And how are they?
Well, Pixel’s meal is so-so. The eggs are perfectly cooked and the truffle polenta is delicious, though perhaps more suited to an evening meal dish. But the butter sauce is … well, a little too much. And the flavour/texture combination leaves the Pix feeling six. I mean, sick. And unable to finish it. And, hence, still hungry and forced to fill up on the lemon bread:
Lemony goodness.
… which is orgasmic.
Leeloo’s lamb cutlet is the best thing we’ve ever tasted and she’s lucky we let her finish it herself; however, the lentils are weird, and not so much in the ‘but it works’ way. Mr Chips, however, loves every morsel of his enormous pile of everything. But where – and, incidentally, what – is the parsley hushpuppy? It is a mystery. Perhaps it’s one we’ll solve on our next visit… but we’re tempted to try the lunch menu next time instead. Look out for Lunching Lushes, coming soon to a blog near you. (Kidding.)
Overall, ABTE gets a thumbs up for service and atmosphere, and a mixed report for the food. But it is really, really cute. Really.
Rating: 8/10
(Oh, one more thing: the Bitches now have a Facebook page. Go! Become our fan! And while you’re at it, make friends with our alter ego, Brenda Briggs. For some reason the censors on Facebook refuse to believe that ‘Breakfast Bitches’ could be a real person’s name. We’ll have them know that ‘Breakfast’ is a family name and we’re quite sensitive about it thankyouverymuch.)
Words by Pixel | Pictures by Leeloo
Breakfast the Sixth: Ojo, Tuggeranong April 13, 2009
Posted by Breakfast Bitches in Breakfast of champions.4 comments
Monday 13 April, 2009
Welly welly welly. It’s been a while, but the Bitches are back. At least, one of us is. Hiiii! Pixel here. Don’t worry, Leeloo and her magic camera will be back (or I’ll bitchslap her).
Easter Monday’s breakfast of choice takes place at Ojo (and now that Pixel has googled the translation she can’t stop head-singing ‘I am the eye in the sky, looking at you-oo-oo, I can read your mind’… STOP NOW. GOD.
Excuse me. I blame my breakfasting companions, Ford Prefect (of Brierly St fame) and Fiat Panda. They’re nuts. Well, maybe not the Panda. He’s just English.
Ojo is a surprisingly cavernous cafe-bar-pub-restaurant-sports club hybrid tucked confusingly behind a shopping centre. Inside, the lovely timber floors and mood lighting somehow gel nicely with the pool tables and pub-style seating. Outside, there’s a wide covered area where the smokers hang out at roomy tables and watch the Friday night skanks wiggle by. (Or, as it’s morning, the baby bonus beneficiaries.)
The last time Pixel, Ford and Fiat dined at Ojo, in the company of Pixel’s other half Mr Chips, the food was spectacular. Succulent steak, quality quesadillas, and a wine list somewhat classier than we’d expected from a cafe in Nappy Valley. And all at bargain basement prices. Today’s breakfast, happily, lives up to expectations.
Fiat, being a Real Man (despite his choice of vehicle), orders the Big Breakfast:
… and plows manfully through the whole lot… even the parsley. Ford, the foodie, opts for the exotic Nordic Eggs, a medley of smoked salmon, chives and hollandaise which is truly divine:
… and washes it down, being Ford Prefect, with a baby bottle of champagne. And what does Pixel choose? I’ll give you one guess.
Ahh, the pleasure of a good Eggs Benedict. The delicacy of the hollandaise! The flavour explosion of tangy smoked ham! The sweet relief of stabbing the eggs and realising that they are neither hard nor undercooked; nay, they are delicious, golden, runny perfection. Excuse me. Can’t talk. Eating.
All in all, Ojo is a rousing success. Eat there. But don’t forget: the eye in the sky is looking at you. Oo, oo.
Rating: 9/10
Words & Pictures by Pixel
Breakfast the Fifth: Podfood, Pialligo August 17, 2008
Posted by Breakfast Bitches in Almost perfect.Tags: Pialligo/Fyshwick
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Saturday 16 August, 2008
The first thing one notices about Podfood, situated in the grounds of one of the endless parade of plant nurseries on Beltana Road all trying to out-adorable each other, is that it is absolutely adorable. Look how pretty it is:
Precious! But without being pukeworthy, which can be tough to pull off.
The cafe is an indoor/outdoor affair; inside is all whitewashed walls and spotless linen, while outside is timber decking and pumpkin-coloured plastic chairs. There are a few outside tables full, but not too many. It’s a beautiful day, so Leeloo and Pixel choose a table in the sun.
Have we mentioned it’s pretty here? The grass is green, the birds are tweeting, the ornamental plums are just beginning to bud, everything is manicured to perfection, and there’s a smiley ponytailed girl coming to take our coffee order. If only the countryside was always like this.
Mmmm.
For once, we don’t order the eggs benedict, but we admit this is probably because it’s not on the menu. In fact, the menu is a little short on variety: there’s your standard eggs and bacon (which both Leeloo and Pixel order), the vegetarian option with mushrooms and fetta, waffles, pancakes and … that’s about it. Someday we might branch out and try one of the sweet specials. Someday, when the thought of sugar before noon doesn’t make us gag.
Back to the breakfast: it is good. A tomato that’s juicy, but could have been roasted a touch longer; a little (perhaps too little) wilted spinach; a generous serving of yummy bacon cooked to perfection. Excuse us while we hoe in. Mother taught us never to speak with our mouths full.
The negatives: service is somewhat inattentive – we have to wait a long and thirsty while after finishing our food for the waitress to reappear so we can order more coffee – and the eggs are a touch hard. Oh, and Pixel is not allowed to smoke anywhere on the grounds and is instead forced to make the trek to the parking lot, aka Pariahland. On the bright side, the waitress is extremely apologetic about it.
The Bitches liked Podfood very much. It’ll be on our list for a repeat visit if we ever run out of cafes in Canberra.
Rating: 9/10
Words by Pixel | Pictures by Leeloo
Breakfast the Fourth: Du Jour, Acton August 12, 2008
Posted by Breakfast Bitches in Still teething, but promising.Tags: Inner North
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Tuesday 12 August, 2008
The Bitches were sucked into a space-time anomaly and were unable to breakfast last weekend. Fortunately we managed to screw a free morning out of our respective bosses today, and made the most of it by hotfooting over to New Acton to check out the brand new pavilion. There’s a swanky hotel, a five-star restaurant that’s definitely on our dinner list, a couple of other eating places and an adorable wine bar that overlooks the water on one side and a pretty courtyard on the other. The Bitches believe New Acton Pavilion will be our new favourite summer social spot.
Hotel Diamant entrance. (Yes, it’s a phone photo. Excuse the quality.)
But today we’re here for breakfast, not fine dining or wining. It’s far too bloody cold to sit out in the cute courtyard, so we pick the likeliest contender – Du Jour – and find a table inside. There are maybe five tables filled, out of about fifteen. Most of the diners are in business suits. Who has time for a lazy breakfast on a Tuesday when you’re supposed to be working? I am so in the wrong job.
We’re greeted immediately, shown to a table and given just the right amount of time to make our selections. In fact there’s not much more we can say about the service: our waitress is polite and attentive without getting in our faces. So, good really.
Breakfast is served until 3pm, even on a weekday, so guess what we order? That’s right, bircher muesli. No, not really.
See how orange that hollandaise is? See? Well, for such a technicolour explosion, it’s pretty tasteless. And the eggs are a touch on the hard side, although that’s an improvement on last week’s runny albumen. And the Bitches agree that there is something a little unappealing about a plate of eggs with no greenery on it at all. A sprig of continental parsley might not make a difference to the plate’s nutritional value, but it would make us both feel better.
That said, it was pretty good. Nothing to rave about, but tasty and filling, with a chunky serve of animal meat. And not a Tip Top muffin in sight. The Bitches will be back.
Rating: 7/10
by Pixel
Breakfast the Third: Brierly St Gourmet Cafe, Weston August 3, 2008
Posted by Breakfast Bitches in We'll be back.Tags: Weston Creek
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Saturday 2 August, 2008
BreakfastQuest 2008 continues at the Brierly St Gourmet Cafe in the cosmopolitan centre of Weston Creek, as recommended by our foodie friend Ford Prefect. The cafe doubles as a deli and triples as a catering business, and is also confusingly known as the Brierly St Pizzeria. The confusion doesn’t stop there. The shopfront presents like a divey Sydney coffee house, with rickety outdoor tables perched precariously on the edge of the road and an uninspiring view of the Woolworths parking lot, but on entering the cafe we find clean white walls, banquette seating, funky twisted lights and a diet-busting array of pies, quiches and lasagnas in the deli case. Our doubts are allayed, as they are further when we learn that this place is owned and managed by the same people who ran Chatfish. Which was a most excellent restaurant. And later we learn from Lara, our friendly Second Waitress, that she and her husband run Artespresso, last week’s Breakfast Winner.
But before we get to that happy moment, we run into a little trouble.
The sun isn’t quite past the yard-arm, but that’s never stopped Ford Prefect before, so as we arrive at Brierly St Gourmet Cafe Pizzeria Deli Coffeehouse Restaurant Place Where You Can Get Food, she announces her intention to chow down on the impressively colourful antipasto platter and wash it down with a swig of white wine. We are amused to notice that Waitress Number One, an elegant lady with Dame Edna glasses, doesn’t bat an eyelid at this. Ford’s only complaint about her Brierly St experience is that she can’t get her choice of wine by the glass and is forced to order a bottle. Which she drinks, in its entirety, because to do otherwise would insult starving children in Africa. The sacrifices a girl is prepared to make…
Leeloo and Pixel, sadly, do not fare so well. Eggs of the varieties Benedict and Florentine are on the menu, but the smoked salmon option is unavailable. Leeloo, noticing another dish on the menu consisting of smoked salmon and hash browns, asks that her Florentine be anointed with a little salmony goodness. No problem, Waitress Number One replies. But when Leeloo’s eggs arrive (simultaneously with Ford’s antipasto, and five minutes before Pixel’s eggs), there is no salmon in sight. Waitress Number One stands there flat-footed and explains they’re out of salmon. (Which, of course, is fine – as long as they come back and tell you, so you can change your order if you so please.) She tries a couple of times to shove the plate in front of Leeloo, who innocently points out that there are small packets of smoked salmon sold in the deli and asks, blondely batting her eyelashes, if she couldn’t have an itty bit of salmon from one of those? Amazingly, the waitress agrees. Success!
When Pixel’s benno arrives, it is cold. Not just lukewarm, or a little on the cool side. Cold. Pixel is so hungry by now she’s almost prepared to eat it anyway, but the idea of choking down icy-cold egg white is beginning to put her off breakfast altogether, so she politely asks Waitress Number Two if she’ll reheat it. The waitress, extremely apologetic, whisks it away and returns several minutes later – as predicted by a pissed Ford Prefect, who scathingly declares that no chef worth his hat would ever nuke eggs – with a fresh plate. And not just fresh, but cooked rather nicely and containing an extra egg, if a little light on the hollandaise. They get points for pulling back from the brink of potential disaster.
They also get points for being sweet, friendly people who are trying to do something different in the ‘burbs. So, although the food was hit-and-miss, we appreciate that they did all they could to keep us happy. And we’ll be back – but probably not for breakfast. We’ll go there for lunch next time. And we’ll have what Ford Prefect was having.
Rating: 6/10
Words by Pixel | Pictures by Leeloo
Breakfast the Second: Artespresso, Kingston July 31, 2008
Posted by Breakfast Bitches in We'll be back.Tags: Inner South
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Saturday 26 July, 2008
For our second Breakfast Bitch session we had intended to visit Podfood in Pialligo. Tragically it was closed for that week only. If they’re lucky, some day we might return.
There is absolutely no other cafe worth mentioning in the Pialligo/Fyshwick area (at least, to our knowledge) so, giving in to the orchestral manoeuvres in our digestive systems, we boot it over to Kingston. Both Leeloo and Pixel have probably eaten at every establishment in Kingston at some point, so we know where to go to get a good meal. And so we do: at Artespresso, where the food is good and the waiters are pretty.
Our waitress greets us with a big happy smile that says ‘Hiiiii! I’m here to make your breakfast experience totally AWESOME,’ and so she does. She’s attentive without being annoying, friendly without overstepping the mark, and happy to cater for special requests (okay, so asking for spinach AND ham on the benno isn’t very special, but it’s non-standard, right?)
We sit outside on the sunny private balcony, protected from the breeze. A special mention once again to the waitress here for her dexterity in opening the balcony door one-handed without spilling her armful of plates. Girlfriend needs an award. (Or perhaps we just need higher standards.)
The coffee receives mixed reviews: Pixel’s flat white is delicious, but Leeloo the Weird Soy Milk Lover says hers tastes like a well-used spittoon. As for the food: yum. Runny eggs, loads of salmon or ham, nicely presented and very, very tasty. The only no-no is the use of stock-standard Tip Top english muffins. Get rid of the cardboard and introduce some bruschetta and everyone’s happy.
Rating: 8/10
by Pixel
Breakfast the First: Edgars Inn, Ainslie July 26, 2008
Posted by Breakfast Bitches in Pleasant, but unremarkable.Tags: Inner North
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Saturday 19 July, 2008
Our quest for the greatest breakfast in Canberra dawns on a July day so chilly our nipples could cut glass. Which is appropriate, considering our first stop on the quest takes us to lesbian luncheteria Tilleys in Lyneham. One glance at the clusterfuck of a queue, however, and we realise we’ll be lucky to be served in time for dinner. We are far too important to wait for service, so we depart.
After driving hungrily around the surrounding suburbs we finally settle on Edgars Inn at Ainslie Shops. As with Tilleys, one must place one’s order at the counter at Edgars; however, this time we’re served immediately. The wait staff are polite, and making a minor change to the eggs benedict as advertised (Leeloo is partial to smoked salmon, while Pixel prefers ham) is no problem. Which, considering this is a pub, not a restaurant, wins points in our eyes.
The seating inside is cosy and pleasant, but the outside area leaves much to be desired as a breakfast spot, with its huge metal tables, crappy chairs (they still beat the chairs at Tilleys, though), sloping ground and exposed, windswept position. A few space heaters would not go astray. We’ll be lenient about it: this is, as previously noted, a pub, and it’s a great spot for a Sunday beer. (In summer.)
Our coffee is decent and arrives within five minutes of ordering. The food shows up barely three minutes after that, which concerns us a little: either the chef has nothing else to do, or this is a pre-prepared microwave meal. It is with some trepidation that we wield our forks. However, the eggs are clearly freshly cooked and spurt a good amount of orange yolky goodness when poked, though they could be warmer. The hollandaise is average and the quantity of dead animal a little lacking on both our plates. The portion size is fine for two girls who struggle to eat before noon, but would leave manly types unsatisfied. And the waiter clears away Pixel’s plate while Leeloo is still eating. Not cool. We wouldn’t complain, but we wouldn’t rush back to Edgars either.
Rating: 5/10.
by Pixel
